I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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