Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
