True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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