Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
