Your face is a jimmy john
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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