I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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