Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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