come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
