Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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