I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
