Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
