After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
