no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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