On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
