True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
