dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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