My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
