Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
