She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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