It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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