After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
