It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
