No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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