WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
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never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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