Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
