I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize