whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
