You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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