saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
