how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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