Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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