talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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