why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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