I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
