David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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