Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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