ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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