I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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