Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
