we're blogging at a bar
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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