Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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