im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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