if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
