the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize