3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Success! We fucked roommates!
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