that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
