So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
