She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.