i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now