Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO