last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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