i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?