he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
