I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
