I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
