8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
