He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need moral support for this bender
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
