I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
