Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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