Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
