Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
