his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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