I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
