My Higher Power is John Stamos
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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