i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
