Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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