My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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