Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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