Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My bed smells like the plague
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